Punk - Miscellaneous Essays

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By Greg Graffin
Miscellaneous

The Punk Test

Miscellaneous Essays

  1. How to be punk
  2. God Bless America
  3. No war on Iraq

How to be punk
I got this from Kerpunk, if you know who wrote this or if you wrote it, just send me your name and I'll publish it here and not make you famous

  1. Listen to the right music
    Make sure you listen to bands that nobody has ever heard of, and then call them underground. Avoid at all cost, listening to the 'popular' punk bands. Despite what losers say about them being liked for a reason, the fewer people that like a band, the better it is. You will find that you can't decipher the vocals, this is good.
  2. Get Chopped
    Try and get as many tattoos as you can without going hungry. If possible, cover both of your arms and legs. Be sure to include key words like respect, truth, hope, honesty etc.. When people ask you why you've covered your entire body with unintelligible logos, tell them that it's more a way of a life than a choice.
  3. Wear the right clothes
    Never leave home without the quintessencial garment, the hoodie. In fact, you would be cooler if you slept in it too. Be sure to wash it as rarely as possible, if you can find one that nobody else has, you will be even more punk. Make sure to find the longest pants (preferably with holes) as possible, to which you can attach as many metal chains as your legs will support ...just so you don't lose your wallet.
  4. Be in band
    The only way to really get respect, is to form a band, it doesn't really matter if you you don't sing in key, or can't tune a guitar, as long as you play as fast as possible, and learn to palm mute a bit. Make sure to condemn the government and society as much as possible. Don't forget to get someone to shout 'OI' into the mic at regular intervals.
  5. Have attitude
    Don't take shit from anybody. Hate the government, hate mainstream society, hate organised sport, hate night fever, hate jocks, hate your parents for bring you up the way they did, hate big corporations. When people criticise you for being angry, tell them it's angst, and that they're part of the problem, how can they criticise you for being what you are... punk.

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God Bless America
This was written by Jim Lindberg from Pennywise as an Editorial for Epitaph Bless

America? In his Pulitzer Prize winning book, "The Metaphysical Club," Louis Menand says that all the lessons Oliver Wendell Holmes learned from his experiences in civil war, of seeing his friends killed and a nation ripped apart, could be reduced to one sentence; "It is that certitude leads to violence." When people have an unshakable conviction that what they believe to be true and right, without qualification or openness to debate, they will eventually confront another group of people who hold the opposite view and the inevitable result will always be bloodshed. Though Holmes fought for the union side, he eventually found that even when you believe yourself to be on the higher ground morally, the clash that comes from conflicting ideologies will often produce even greater horrors. On the anniversary of the tragic events of September 11th, people will be left with the agonizing question of why this terrible event occurred. Some will point to the gulf war, others to the Arab-Israeli conflict in the middle east and the U.S. support for Israel, even more will say there can be no clear answer. Much like Oliver Wendell Holmes' summation of the Civil War, it seems clear that this was the inevitable first major collision of the world's prevailing belief systems in the modern age. In the late 1800s the war was fought in our country over the issue of slavery and succession from the union, in Vietnam it was the spread of political and economic ideologies. Now the conflict arises from the clash of our planet's most fundamental, yet mutually exclusive belief systems. Witnessing then the events of September 11th was even more difficult for the silent masses of agnostics than it was for the members of the world's established religions. Muslims, Christians and Jews believe in a whole passion play of good vs. evil, heaven and hell, God vs. Satan, and that in some all knowing way God has a purpose and a plan, and that violence, suffering and sorrow must all be a part of it. They can witness these events secure in the knowledge that the all-powerful being that protects them and listens to their prayers must in some way have a reason for allowing this kind of tragedy. Muslim extremists all over the globe respond to the call for jihad against the infidels, church going Americans proselytize on the Internet, on bumper stickers and from the white house as we ask for God's blessing for unleashing our massive war machine. We pray that God will smite our enemies who have made the fatal mistake of believing as we do in the belief system that has been passed down for generations as the un-challengeable and supreme truth. The ideologically indistinguishable teachings of the Bible, Koran and Torah are the fabric of our lives growing up, the center of our universe philosophically and spiritually. Unfortunately, the first law or commandment of all these religions is that ours is the one true God and there are no others before Him. Accordingly, we hold this intransigent belief so dearly that any challenge to our belief system can produce a homicidal, even suicidal, response to defend it. The terrorists who crashed those planes into those towers were just as assured of their entrance into heaven as Billy Graham will be on his own day of reckoning. So for the masses of people who admit to not having all the answers when it comes to the big questions of the universe, sitting on the sidelines and watching as the faithful combatants wreak havoc on the world, the heartache of having to share the planet with the maniacally self-righteous has been a constant source of despair when you consider the seemingly infinite number of lives wasted on our own arrogance to force our beliefs on one another. The atrocities of September 11th were the latest in a long history of battles where our "certitude led to violence." The question is, when will the silent millions of those who hold the more rational belief that no one really has all the answers, convince those who think they do, that they should practice what they preach, and entertain the idea of tolerance of opposing views, and admit that we really can't be certain of anything, especially who God is? My heart goes out to the victims and their families, and to us for having witnessed it.

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No war on Iraq
I was disgusted when I read the response to the “No War on Iraq” editorial. Nothing has changed in Iraq since the Gulf War 11 years ago, so why is it that Bush has now decided that Saddam should be disposed of? The answer to that question is obvious to anyone who isn’t side tracked by the possibility of senseless violence, and actually takes the time to look at the Bush administration and what it has accomplished since Sept 11th; absolutely nothing. What occurred on Sept 11th, 2001, was a horrible tragedy for the American people involved, and Bush felt that it was his duty to rid the world of terrorism. One year and thousands of innocent deaths later nothing has been accomplished and the American public is losing interest, and losing faith in their leader. So what does that have to do with Iraq? Since the U.S. Government has run out of caves to bomb in Afghanistan, they have turned their attention to Iraq to spark the interest of the voters. Sept 11th and terrorism have nothing to do with Iraq and Saddam Hussein, but I lost count of how many times it was brought up in his speech on Monday. Bush isn’t good at anything but bombing, killing, and overthrowing governments that the U.S. deems unstable or unfit to rule. Without an enemy, Bush is as useless in office as tits on a bull, an analogy I find all too fitting. With Saddam Hussein’s head on the chopping block, the U.S. now has somebody to point the finger at as the “Face of Evil”. Bush’s speech had no new information about Iraq or Saddam, and he continued to tiptoe around showing any actual proof that Iraq is building, buying, or holding weapons of “mass destruction”. His only argument for attacking Iraq revolved around Iraq’s past and what Saddam has done. What about the 500,000 Iraq children under the age of 12 that were killed during the Gulf War because of U.S. bombing raids? Why is it that it’s only “Terrorism” when it’s against the U.S., not when it’s the U.S. doing the terrorizing? President Bush thinks that he can save the world by forcing everyone in it to be as American as they can be (at gunpoint), while all he is doing is creating enemies. Enemies that take 50 years of “legal” U.S. Military oppression, but when they retaliate they are called terrorists and condemned to be destroyed. There have been an estimated 1.5 million Iraqi deaths because the blockade put in place by U.S. administration 11 years ago. Is this not terrorism? What about the billions of dollars worth of American weapons that are shipped to Israel so that Israeli terrorists can kill Palestinian women and children. But wait… according to CNN it’s the Palestinians who are the terrorists, and killing terrorists is OK. The point is that Bush is only bringing Iraq back into the picture so that he has a reason to continue his term in office. Nothing in Iraq has changed, but without someone to terrorize, how can the U.S. continue its responsibility as the world’s worst terrorist organization?

-Blair Weinberg
modernrebellion@hotmail.com

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